Wildest Dream
by Riley Scott
Summary: "Will you go somewhere with me?" He asked suddenly, his words rushed. He seemed nervous and that surprised Felicity into dropping her hard facade. Oliver Queen had only ever been nervous once since she had known him. "Where?" She asked, her voice soft and broken. "Away." Was all he said and he smiled a little, not his fake 'Oliver Queen' smile, but his smile that on
1. Chapter 1

_**He said, "Let's get out of this town,  
Drive out of the city, away from the crowds."  
I thought heaven can't help me now.  
Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down**_

_**He's so tall and handsome as hell  
He's so bad but he does it so well  
I can see the end as it begins  
My one condition is**_

_**Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress,  
Staring at the sunset, babe  
Red lips and rosy cheeks  
Say you'll see me again  
Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, oh, wildest dreams, oh, ah.**_

_**I said, "No one has to know what we do,"  
His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room  
And his voice is a familiar sound,  
Nothing lasts forever but this is getting good now**_

_**He's so tall and handsome as hell  
He's so bad but he does it so well  
And when we've had our very last kiss  
My last request is**_

_**Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress,  
Staring at the sunset, babe  
Red lips and rosy cheeks  
Say you'll see me again  
Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, oh, wildest dreams, oh, ah.**_

_**You see me in hindsight  
Tangled up with you all night  
Burning it down  
Someday when you leave me  
I bet these memories  
Follow you around**_

_**You'll see me in hindsight  
Tangled up with you all night  
Burning it down  
Someday when you leave me  
I bet these memories  
Follow you around**_

_**Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress,  
Staring at the sunset, babe  
Red lips and rosy cheeks  
Say you'll see me again  
Even if it's just pretend**_

_**Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress,  
Staring at the sunset, babe  
Red lips and rosy cheeks  
Say you'll see me again  
Even if it's just in your (just pretend, just pretend) wildest dreams, oh, ah, in your wildest dreams, oh, ah  
Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, oh, ah, in your wildest dreams, ah, ah. **_

She knew he was there. She had been laying there for over an hour now, listening to the quiet rumble of his bike. She stared at the ceiling, the tears in her eyes refusing to fall and join the others that had soaked the hair pooling around her head. She had meant what she said in the alley outside of the Foundry, she no longer wanted to be a woman that he loved, not if being loved by him meant watching him turn into something awful to protect her.

They had been dancing around each other for far too long. Her throat ached from the scream that had been building in her lungs since the first time he told her that he loved her, and then walked away. She had almost preferred the way it was before, when she was just the IT girl that occasionally stitched his wounds and babbled about his abs. That was safe, that was where they should have stayed.

Why did he have to go and return her feelings?

Why did he have to make it into something real?

Only to turn it into something painful.

She sniffed and turned her head to look at the alarm beside her bed.

3:58am

She seriously considered leaving him out there alone until the sun rose. She considered leaving him altogether. But still, she forced herself out of the bed and walked out of her room and down the hall to the living room.

Peeking out the window, she fought the urge to smile. Her Mother had always warned her about guys with a penchant for leather and motorcycles. She wondered what Donna would have to say about this.

He wasn't in the hood, so she knew he wasn't there standing guard, not that he would ever do that in such an obvious way anyhow. He was simply sitting there on his bike, in the same outfit he was wearing at the foundry, with the engine running. There were two helmets though, which made her pulse quicken slightly.

Once again she thought about turning around and going back to bed and leaving him there. But she knew that she wouldn't sleep tonight, and no matter how she felt about him at the moment, he was still Oliver.

And that would always mean something.

She turned from the window, and made her way back toward her bedroom, smoothing her hair into a messy ponytail. She made quick work of changing into a seldom worn sweater and jean combo, not fully knowing what to expect once she walked out the door. She stopped into the bathroom to clean up her face and at the very least put on her most vivid red lipstick to give herself courage.

She knew he heard her coming as soon as she unlocked the front door because he was off the bike and leaning against it by the time she had locked up and turned around. She didn't look directly at him as she walked from the porch to the curb, she knew the less time she spent looking in his eyes the better off she would be.

He was standing by the time she reach him and he had his hands clasped in front of him. She decided to let him speak first and stood there on the side walk, her head down for a good 20 seconds before he finally spoke.

"I heard you." He started, and she finally looked up to meet his eyes.

"I did, and I wanted you to know that. I heard what you said and I understand it. I can only imagine what you have been feeling these past few weeks. And if you felt even a 10th of what I felt not knowing if I would see you again, then I am so sorry, and I cannot even begin to make up for that." At that Oliver looked away from her for a split second, his eyes taking on that faraway look that he tended to get whenever he thought of something painful.

"Will you go somewhere with me?" He asked suddenly, his words rushed. He seemed nervous and that surprised Felicity into dropping her hard facade. Oliver Queen had only ever been nervous once since she had known him.

"Where?" She asked, her voice soft and broken.

"Away." Was all he said and he smiled a little, not his fake 'Oliver Queen' smile, but his smile that only she saw. She looked at him, her throat tightening. God, he was so tall and handsome as hell and sometimes just looking at him made her ache.

She cleared her throat so that her voice wouldn't break again and nodded. "Um, sure, yeah I can do that. But let me get my phone first." She looked away as she turned and gasped a little when he grabbed her elbow to stop her.

"Leave it." He said, rushed. The hand on her elbow was shaking. "Please."

She squinted at him, her head tilting to the side. "Oliver," She started, looking him closely "Are you okay?" She remembered for the first time that he had been holding himself strangely earlier tonight.

He frowned and looked away. "No. I'm not, Felicity." His hand dropping from her arm and then he started to do the finger rubbing thing that he had gotten from her, (or had she gotten it from him?),and she knew that he didn't mean physically.

She walked to the back of the bike and grabbed the helmet that she knew was meant for her.

"Well, let's go...away."


	2. Chapter 2

They had ridden for hours. Felicity had long ago given up the pretense that she wasn't enjoying the feeling of holding onto Oliver. The early morning air this time of year was chilly anyhow, but on the bike it was downright frigid. She had at first slid her hands from her innocent placement on his sides to the pockets of his jacket when her fingers lost all feeling. But after the first hour she had given into her desires and cuddled her entire body up to his, her thighs squeezed tightly onto the sides of his. Her head laid onto his back, her eyes closed as she tried to make out his heartbeat over the roar of the engine.

The sun was just making itself known as they pulled off of the highway onto a service road and she reluctantly lifted her head up to take in her surroundings. There were no real landmarks to indicate where they were but she could feel the subtle change in the air. They were definitely near a beach, and were most likely in Coast City.

If the beach was their ultimate destination then she was even more grateful for her outfit of choice. While this time of year was perfect for an empty beach, it wasn't exactly ideal for her trademark short skirts.

They rode for a few more miles on the deserted service road when Oliver slowed and veered onto what turned out to be an extremely long paved driveway. Felicity could tell that their ride was coming to an end so she readjusted herself on the bike, not wanting to have the awkward moment of peeling herself from him once they stopped. Oliver came to a stop in front of what Felicity could only guess was the Queen's version of a beach house.

As Oliver climbed off the bike and pulled his helmet off. He was checking over the bike, making sure everything was secure and Felicity didn't even have her helmet all of the way off before she was questioning him.

"Oliver, how?" She asked, taking in the estate.

He threw a glance at the house, and then took her helmet with one hand and assisted her from the bike with the other.

"Thea." He said simply with a shrug.

Now standing, a little bit shakily Felicity turned to him, and squinted as she pulled her hair down to readjust her ponytail after it had been smooshed in a helmet for hours.

He sighed. "She has money again. Merlyn money, which is even more impressive than Queen money. She is the only one with any real claim to it, since Malcolm is dead on paper. So she is slowly buying back everything that was important to her. The club, and then this. We loved this place when we were kids. It was the one place that Dad would actually relax and not spend the whole time on the phone." He trailed off at that and looked over at her. They had avoided the tension in the air for long enough and now that they had reached their destination it was time for the 'come to Jesus ' talk that neither one of them really wanted to have.

"What are we doing here Oliver?" She asked, walking up the huge wrap around porch and sitting on the steps. She patted the spot next to her, figuring if they weren't looking directly at each other that this would be easier.

He walked closer to her, but chose to instead squat down in front of her, resting the tips of his fingers on the tops of her knees. She flinched and dropped her knees, her feet now splayed out in front of her. His lips thinned and he stood, his hands in his pockets and looked to the sky.

"I wanted you to know that I regretted leaving you every second I was gone." He said to the sky, his voice heavy. "If I had it to do over again I would." She didn't respond, so he looked down at the stairs and then walked to the other side of the wide steps and sat on the same level as her, his back resting against the railing. He faced her, but his eyes watched his boots.

"I have told you I love you as a goodbye too many times and I never want you to have to hear that from me again."

She looked over at him, her eyes pooling. She sniffed, but stayed quiet for once, not really sure what to make of his words. He closed his eyes at the pain in hers and sighed.

"But, I also want you to know that I can't be who you need me to be, not right now." He started and winced when she turned from him, her eyes to the sky. She started biting her lip and he knew he had to get this out before she decided she didn't want to hear anymore.

"The league is going to come after me. They know by now that I'm not dead and they will come at me with everything they have. This isn't just about Sarah anymore, this is so much bigger and they are coming to take all of us down." He stopped as she rose from the porch, her feet moving her faster than he had ever seen her move.

She turned to him, her hands crossed over her chest and the fury on her face made him stop his rise from his seat.

"Oliver, these are all things that you could have told me at home. You didn't need to bring me here. These are things I know. You're the Arrow! There is always someone coming for you 'with everything they've got' this isn't news to me. Why did you bring me here?"

At that he did rise, and he walked over to her and when she didn't back away he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Because I need you to understand. I need you to hear me. When I first decided to come home from the island it was solely because of the mission. I left the island a killer and over time I became something else. Thea, Tommy, Laurel, my Mom...You, you all made me forget what I came back to do and why I needed to do it. The mission changed from vengeance to justice and protection. I stopped being what I needed to be to get the job done. I lost my edge." He could tell that she wanted to interrupt, she had her babble face on and so he rushed to get the rest out before he lost his nerve.

"You were right, when I left to face the league. I couldn't do it, because somewhere along the way I lost what made me a killer and that nearly got me killed. I can't have that happen again. I need to regain that piece of myself and Malcolm can help me to do that. He has managed to never lose that part of himself and I need him to teach me. I need to become what I was, and I can't do that and be the me that you know."

She walked away at that. She walked towards the bike and Oliver knew that she was about to ask him to take her home. So he followed her and with her back still to him he put his hands on her shoulders, like he had done so many nights in the Foundry.

"And I brought you here because I needed to give you what little I can offer to you." He started and he felt her tense beneath his hands. "I can't give you what you deserve, not even close. But what I can give you is a day. One day, and we can spend it however you want. If you want to stay here together, or if you want to be alone, or whatever would help you through the next stage of this mission. Because no matter how much I don't want you around to be a witness to my darkest side, I need you and I can't do this without your help. And I know that asking you to stay is extremely selfish and so I just want you to have a day for you." He finished and left his hands in place and waited.

He waited for what felt like hours, when it was actually only a few minutes. Finally he felt Felicity give a full bodied sigh and she nodded.

"Okay." Was all she said. Her voice was so quiet that if he hadn't been right behind her he never would have heard her.

"Okay?" He asked, a little stunned.

She turned and she had the look on her face that she always wore when using her loud voice. It screamed her determination.

"Yeah, okay. I get one day? I know what I want. I want you. I want one whole day without the The Arrow, or The Hood. One day without the Dark Archer or Arsenal or Digg or The Canary. I want one day where we are just Felicity and Oliver and we love each other and that doesn't cause us pain. I want one day where we love and care about Thea, Roy, Laurel and John and they aren't always in danger. That's what I want." She paced as she made her demands and her hands flailed the whole time as she listed them off. Once she finished she turned to him, her eyes full of question.

Oliver smiled at her and nodded.

"I can do that."

She smiled, a real smile and the first one he had seen outside of his dreams in far too long.

"Okay. So...do you think there are any groceries in this place? Someone didn't give me a chance to get a coffee this morning."


	3. Chapter 3

It turns out that Thea was a pretty decent adult.

She had fully stocked the kitchen and the house was in a much better condition that Oliver had expected. There was no staleness to the air or sheets covering the furniture and everything seemed to have been cleaned recently.

He made a mental note to ask her just how often she planned on coming here.

They had made their way into the kitchen, and Oliver sat at the center island on a stool while Felicity made herself better acquainted with the kitchen. He watched her with amused eyes as she searched the cabinets for coffee, she was biting her bottom lip and her eyes were all squinty. Once she found her prize she did a little shimmy dance and quickly did all the necessary tasks to get a pot brewing. She then watched the pot as it started to putter, her hands on the counter. She seemed a little too invested in the machine and he couldn't tell if it was because of her desperate need for caffeine or her hesitation to speak to him.

Whichever it was she seemed to get beyond it and spun around to face him, her hands at her sides. He spotted her rubbing her fingers together immediately and gave a mental sigh. She was nervous.

"Sooooo..." She started, drawing out the word with pursed lips. "How, um, h-how long has it been? Since you've been here?" She asked, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter, her eyes on him but not really focused.

He cleared his throat and put his hands in front of him on the counter, his fingers intertwined "Uh, before the island? Maybe eight years?" He rolled his eyes at himself, wondering why he posed all his answers as questions. Why was this so awkward? They should be able to be normal around each other.

"Oh." Was all she said and looked down at her feet. "I'm gonna run to the bathroom. Get cleaned up, long ride." She said suddenly and gave a questioning look and Oliver quickly pointed in the direction of the bathroom.

He watched her leave and let out the breath that he had been holding.

This was going swell.

He had come to her that morning hoping to offer her solace. He wasn't really worried about her leaving, he knew her feelings on the mission and knew that she wouldn't leave, no matter what happened between them, especially now that the team had grown. But he wanted to give her something to hold on to, something that would show her what he was fighting for, what he wanted for them. But now he was wondering if this was a huge mistake. If they spent the day in awkward silence and stilted questions then the chance of them coming out of the other side of this together was very slim. He spread his hands out onto the counter top and laid his head down onto the cold granite and groaned loudly.

He must have been there for a while, his mind racing with his idiocy, because suddenly she was there and her hand was on his shoulder. He sucked in a breath, but didn't say anything, too afraid that she would take her hand away. She stayed, her hand making small comforting circles on his upper back and he slowed his breathing, wondering what her action plan was.

"Oliver." She spoke quietly and he lifted his head to the side to look at her. She had obviously been in the bathroom for a bit. Her hair was now down, framing her face in waves and he smiled. She started to step back from him a little and so he stood, and he was comforted when she didn't take her hand from him, just moved with him and slid it to his chest and rested it right above his heart. He could tell that she had worked herself up to this, so he waited for her to speak.

"I asked myself if this was smart. I know that this is only for today, and that tomorrow we will be back in a world that doesn't allow me to touch you when I want to. And even now, with my hand on you, and with your heart beating against my fingertips, I miss it. I miss you already and it hurts." She had been looking at her hand this whole time and when she said this she looked up at him finally and she had tears in her eyes.

He wondered to himself if she could feel the way his heart stalled when he saw her tears. He wanted to comfort her, but he could see that she wasn't done.

"But I'm going to lose you no matter what. I don't know if it's going to be just until the league is gone, or if it's going to be forever. But one way or another I am going to lose you and that isn't going to change despite what happens here. So I have a choice, I can either waste this chance and lose you before I even know what it's like to have you. Or I can take what your offering."

"And?" He asked when she paused for longer than it took for him to regain his voice.

She didn't answer. Instead she slid her hand from his chest, up his collarbone and behind his neck and slowly pulled him down to meet her. When his lips met hers she sighed and she seemed to sink into him, her other hand coming from her side to grip his bicep, to give herself leverage.

They stayed there, tasting each others lips neither one of them in a hurry.

When they parted Felicity smiled, her hand still holding him close to her, and she leaned so that her forehead met his and he breathed her in with a matching smile.

"I have so many things that I want to do with you today." She said quietly, and for once she didn't blush at the implication. She then pulled away and he immediately felt cold, her warmth leaving him.

"But first, coffee." She announced as she bounced her way over to the pot.

"And then?" Oliver asked, retaking his seat at the counter.

She seemed to think about it for a while as she poured them both coffee and busied herself with preparing it. He cocked an eyebrow at her when she passed his to him but backed off when she rolled her eyes. Then suddenly she looked excited and he became a little worried about what her first request would be.

"Welllll, Mr. Queen. I want to play 20 questions." She answered happily as she molded her hands around the massive mug in her hands and took her first sip.

He couldn't stop the rush of laughter that erupted from him.

"Really? That's what you want?" Oliver asked, folding his hands underneath his chin and resting his head as he watched her pace in front of him.

"Um, hi, excuse me. I thought this was my day? What's with the judgy?"

"Okay, fine...go for it." He spread his arms out on the counter in a 'bring it on' gesture and smiled when she wiggled herself onto the counter opposite him, parking herself right by the coffee maker for easy access.

"Yay. Okay so, first question. Talent? You got one?" She asked into the mug, her eyebrows raised over the rim.

"Ummmmm. Really? You are one of the few people ALIVE that have seen what I'm good at."

"You know what I mean. I want to know what pre-island Oliver was good at?" At the 'stop being a dufus' look on her face Oliver grinned.

"Well, there was this thing I could do with my tongue..." He started with a smirk that made a blush run up the back of her neck and she sputtered.

"Oliver! That is not what I meant and you know it! I'm being serious. There has to be something? Poetry? Guitar? Icecapades?" She questioned with a giggle at the idea of him in ice skates.

Oliver groaned and rolled his shoulders and looked out the kitchen window at the ocean.

"I don't know. I guess I've got a decent voice?" He shrugged and hoped she would drop it.

"Sing? You um, you sing?" She was suddenly breathless and then sucked down too much hot coffee in an attempt to hide her reaction to the thought of him singing. Hearing him speak Russian was trying enough.

The good thing was that he seemed just as uncomfortable with the idea of her knowing as she did, but for obviously different reasons.

He shrugged and finally turned from looking at the water to look back at her.

"Yeah, I guess. Thea had nightmares a lot as a kid, and she would always come get me to sing her back to sleep. I suppose I wasn't terrible at it." He admitted, running his hands through his hair.

"Sing. Right now. Sing for me!" Felicity demanded before she even fully thought it through.

Yikes.


End file.
